This is from a current Smart Marriages e-mail.
SPRING CLEAN YOUR MARRIAGE
WZZM-13/ABC, Michigan
March 15, 2011
(Here’s a concept “spring cleaning for your marriage” you can use in classes next week as spring sprouts. Make up your own list, there are so many ways to clean out and tidy up a marriage. - d)
Spring is a time for review, rebirth, refreshing, and renewal. Our relationships should be no exception to the healthy rituals people undertake in Spring - assessing the state of the union, so-to-speak, to determine areas that need refining and improvement.
Here are some tips based on the couples' research about what works and what doesn't between couples and for really moving your relationship forward, to prevent distress and divorce in your marriage. You can find more about this topic in John Gottman's book, "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail."
1.) Calm down & take space (to prevent escalating fights) - research says you will not have a productive conversation if you are physically aroused.
2.) Talk, not Text - people are getting in to trouble in their relationships by emailing and texting about important issues. Its like they've forgotten how to talk!
3.) Validate & Apologize - Empathy must be expressed and felt on both ends.
4.) Plan for prevention - Brainstorm and develop a plan to prevent spinning your wheels - going through the same fight, another day, by trying out various solutions to the part you got stuck with.
1 comment:
Joanne, you are so right about not communicating import information to your partner in a text message or email! Text doesn't reveal the tone of the spoken words and can lead to big misunderstandings. Sometimes too much technology is not a helpful thing!
I like the idea of the spring cleaning too. Thanks.
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